Captain Dawn Roseburn
Captain of the Guard
'I have no desire to be Queen. I only wish to be by his side.'
Posts: 146
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Post by Captain Dawn Roseburn on May 8, 2011 12:44:00 GMT -6
Dear Journal,
Luna, when was the last time I wrote in here? I think a better question should be when was the last time I had time to sit down and write in here? It has been some time since I took off from work for some deep alone time, not family time but ME time.
Summer keeps nagging me about over doing it to the point she’s sounding more and more like mom. She needs to focus more on her and Angel’s relationship then my workaholic tendencies. For being together as long as they have a normal couple would have created two or three pups to show for it, but they have none. I’m starting to think my brother in law believes he had some problems below the belt. I think its lack of time of them being together. That’s all the time I’m going to spend on working over my sister’s marital problems before I throw up from letting my mind wonder where it shouldn’t be going.
I ran into Lady Mary today in the kitchen while having a late meal. She didn’t look that good, if anything she looked down right pale even for a lycan. I haven’t seen her around the courts lately so being my stupid self I asked if she was ok. Like it was my place to question a lady. What happened to me avoiding nobility? Anyways, the response was ‘My stomach wasn’t feeling that good’ basically. I’ve heard better lies from dunks trying to get in my pants at the local pub around two in the morning. There’s a chance it was a small white lie, but I doubt it was a stomach virus she had. And Lord Andreas needs to relax on the TWO bodyguards he keeps around her at all times. The lady is in a palace full of guards ready to go to her aid if anything happens, why does she need two men watching over her every move? Someone has some control issues he needs to work out. Does he really think she’s going to sleep with another male when he’s a psycho if someone even looks at her with want?
I should attempt to get some sleep this night. These days of working on two hours of sleep are starting to get to me.
Until Next Time,
Dawn Sandra Roseburn, Captain of the Guard
PS- Stop falling asleep where King Vaan’s scent is in the area!! I get some very…we’ll go with “strange” dreams that aren't helping with the lack of sleep!
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Captain Dawn Roseburn
Captain of the Guard
'I have no desire to be Queen. I only wish to be by his side.'
Posts: 146
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Post by Captain Dawn Roseburn on May 8, 2011 15:19:10 GMT -6
Dear Journal,
I think I have figured out why I never take days off. Because every time I do something happens at this place! I went home to spend time with my family, maybe go to the beach, maybe take one hell of a long nap. Who knows. Instead I get a message saying some of the guards hadn't reported in. And what did I do? I came back naturally. Damn my sense of duty. It wasn't that hard to find the two men, they were getting drunk in the local bar with a few girls next to them. They never even saw me coming before I dragged them back to the palace. Heck, a good run around the outer walls would work that alcohol out of their systems.
A couple smacks around and some laps around the walls, I left them in the capable hands of my second, Angel, who informed me that the King had held court. That shouldn't have surprised me. The guy could do as he pleased since he's the ruler, but a heads up would have been nice.
While I was debating on leaving the palace or finding a temporary room to crash in, the whispers were already flying about some fight between Vaan and Adrienne. I shouldn't have cared or for even a small moment hoped the whore was gone from his side. I should have left it alone, but my feet and nose were already linked together to locate the King. I found him at the library door and tried to act like the typical Captain he knew, but there was no stopping the concern I felt for him. Damn my emotions. Thankfully, we had a small conversation in the library, nothing to get worked up over.
I honestly hope he doesn't notice that whenever I'm around him I have to stop my heart from pounding louder and louder each time he looks at me. Sometimes I wish I was worthy of him so I wouldn't feel like hell for liking him so much. Life would be so much easier if I hadn't been born by one roaming lycan and a lycan whose family owned a simple farm. Guess I was never meant for an easy life. I can't stop hoping though. It's a pointless hope but it's there in my mind. All I know is it needs to die quickly so I can move on and find a mate because I really want kids and there is no way I'm going to get the man I keep dreaming about.
Until Next Time,
Dawn Sandra Roseburn, Captain of the Guard
PS- I'm not kidding this time. I need to stop zoning out/trying to sleep just because I can smell Vaan near by. Honestly, this is getting out of hand.
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Captain Dawn Roseburn
Captain of the Guard
'I have no desire to be Queen. I only wish to be by his side.'
Posts: 146
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Post by Captain Dawn Roseburn on May 8, 2011 18:07:18 GMT -6
Dear Journal,
Can I tell you how much I hate when my brother in law sneaks up on me?! He claimed I wasn't paying attention and should have picked up his scent when I was in the hallway, I think he needs to wear some shoes that have at least a harder sole on them then deer skins. Of course, I'm just the sister in law, who listens to me?!
Alright, I'm not mad at him and I should ease up on the big guy. He's not terrible to hang out with. I should place all the blame where it belongs.
- 1- Lack of sleep
- 2- Sexual Frustration
- 3- That bitch Adrienne causing trouble for Vaan
All three reasons all lead back to my own fears or regrets. Well, that second one comes from my dwindling lack of free time. I was thinking, in two weeks I have a day off...I've been planning it for awhile and might use that time to find some male to use for a few hours. Would it be rude to come back the next day with some other male's scent all over me and hang around His Majesty like everything is normal? Why the hell am I even asking myself that question? Fuck him, I have a life outside of him. It's not very big but I like it.
Until Next Time,Dawn Sandra Roseburn, Captain of the Guard
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Captain Dawn Roseburn
Captain of the Guard
'I have no desire to be Queen. I only wish to be by his side.'
Posts: 146
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Post by Captain Dawn Roseburn on Jun 3, 2011 16:36:06 GMT -6
Dear Luna,
What have I done? I could quite possible have caused an even greater rift between King Vaan and Prince Henry by my big mouth. Damn me for listening to my sister. Damn me for not keeping to myself like I’d trained myself and the other guards to do. I did neglect to mention the small detail about Prince Henry and Lady Adrienne to Vaan, but the man can’t be that big a fool sooner or later he’s going to put the pieces together. Luna…I think I might hurl. This isn’t what I had in mind, why did I listen to Summer? Since when do I listen to an advice given to me? Oh yeah, when she’s right for a change about what my responsibilities to the royal family even when no one else wants to admit what’s going on behind the King’s back.
And how the hell could I allow myself to pass out from a lack of sleep?! What the hell is wrong with me lately? Honestly, I’m falling apart. I’m 291 years old now I should be able to know how much sleep my body needs along with a good diet before it shuts down. What’s more, I should have known when to leave before passing out in front of Vaan! The least I could have done was leave his presence first and found a room to crash in, but no I had to play the fucking damsel in distress and ‘faint’. I hate damsels in distresses…no I just hate when I’m it.
That man will be the death of me if I don’t do something very soon. I don’t have a plan but I need to get away. The idea of retiring annoys me, I still have so much I want to do in my position but I’m not sure I’m as strong as I need to be to keep it. Maybe Angel could take over so I can do what my mother did for so many years before my father and her married. But that sounds like the coward’s way out of this crazy palace and I hate being a coward. However, my wolf is getting out of control around him to the point it’s a fight every day to maintain my distance while guarding him from the shadows. Luna give me strength to stay in control.
I sometimes wish I was something more than a commoner to make life easier but I feel I wouldn’t be the same person if I’d grown up with real money. I know I wouldn’t have turned into the woman I am today, but having feelings for the King would be so much easier with less consequences if the Chancellor finds out about how friendly we’re getting. Maybe if I was a noble lady I wouldn’t feel like such a little pup around Vaan or that calling him by his name to his face when we’re alone would get me a slap across the face from his mistress.
If Vaan doesn’t end up being the death of me, Prince Henry and Baroness Elina will do it. Keeping tabs on full grown lycans and keeping them locked in a suite at night is starting to make me grind my teeth. Honestly, the little principito needs to clean up his act and soon before his marriage. It’s going to happen wither he wants it or not. There’s no changing the King’s word being law in this matter. And if he doesn’t watch it, King Vaan will add up the pieces about his perra having fucked his own son multiple times. One of these days that woman will feel the end of my claws and fangs; it’s the only thing keeping me from quieting. How sad is that?
Until Next Time,
Dawn Sandra Roseburn, Captain of the Guard
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